


Tranquility

by ArsenicPanther



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Confessions, Dialogue Heavy, Domestic, Fluff, Karkat Hates Himself, M/M, Mild Angst, Multi, Ok so basically karkat has the mega gay, POV Second Person, Quadrant Confusion, Quadrant Vacillation, The main focus is gamkar but like davekat is defo in there, multi-quadrant relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 11:31:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18141632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArsenicPanther/pseuds/ArsenicPanther
Summary: You wish you could just be pale for your moirail like a normal fucking troll.





	Tranquility

You jolt awake with a start. Sigh.

Another fucking weird dream again.

They’re better than the nightmares, but they leave you feeling confused and muddled as all hell. Mushing your face into the pillow, you breathe out.

Ever since you (and your friends, albeit reluctantly) decided to let Gamzee out of the fridge, he’s been living with you and Dave. It’s been relatively peaceful, up until you had to go and mess it up as usual.

You’re red for Gamzee.

Okay, well, not really. Not precisely. You’re red _and_ pale for him at the same time. It’s weird and fucked up, and you wish you could just be pale for your moirail like a normal fucking troll, but no. It’s just gotten worse.

Dave, of course, already knows about it. You told him the first time you had one of those dreams, not wanting to hurt your boyfriend. He was surprisingly okay with it, teasing you about having too much love to go around. You scowled at him and shoved him off, trying not to laugh.

You sit up in your bed, trying not to dwell on the dream again. It went as usual. Gamzee and Dave would be there with you. You’d be doing some random thing together, like cooking or having a picnic. No matter what you seemed to be doing in the dream, one thing was constant.

You were all in love.

Yeah, it’s stupid. You know that.

Shoving off the remnants of the dream, you hop out of your bed and exit the room, walking down the stairs. Your moirail greets you at the bottom.

“Hey bro. Have a good rest?”

You shrug. “No nightmares, so it was alright.”

He ruffles your hair quickly. “That’s good. I’m gonna go and get some motherfuckin breakfast started, if you want any?”

“Thanks”, you nod. “Pale for you.”

A hesitation. Then “...Pale for you too, bro.”

He scurries off to the kitchen, you staring after him. Gamzee’s been acting weird within the last few weeks, and you can’t help think of the worst case scenarios. What if he doesn’t want to be your moirail anymore? What if he found out about your fucked up, quadrant blurring feelings for him and he’s grossed out by it? What if-

“Dude, you need to stop worrying all the time. Enough of that and your head’ll pop.”

You whirl around to see Dave leaning against the doorway behind you. “Jesus, you scared me!” You manage to squeak.

“Sorry.” He walks past you to look into the kitchen. “He cooking breakfast or something?”

“Something like that.” You say, and shuffle off into the kitchen, Dave on your heels.

Gamzee turns to you both. “I made some of these fuckin pan... pan cakes! Want some?”

God, he’s cute. You mean- what? Of course you want pancakes. You tell Gamzee the latter thought and slide into the chair next to Dave, who pats your arm affectionately. “You good?” He half-whispers.

“Yeah. I’m- I’m good. I’m cool. Love you.” You get out.

He laughs softly, bumping your shoulder with his. “Good. Love ya too.”

He pauses for a second. “If you want me to help you tell him-“

“Dave!” You whisper-yell, then startle when a full plate is placed in front of you.

“Whoops! Didn’t mean to all up and scare you, Karbro.” Gamzee says, shooting you an apologetic look as he puts a similar plate in front of Dave and sits across from you.

“It’s fine.” Your face is all red still, and you can feel Gamzee looking at you curiously. Dave shifts next to you. Your blush deepens. You just... really, really want to kiss them both.

What an idiot you are, getting all flustered over your moirail, like having just one person in your red quadrant wasn’t enough for you. You can’t- you don’t want him to hate you. Honestly, you’d thought Dave would hate you for being red for another person alongside him. You were surprised. Then again, he’s a human. Gamzee is a troll, and even though he’s pretty laid back, you’re still scared. Scared that he won’t want to be pale with you anymore, that he’ll think badly of you.

Of course the mutant freak is the one who can’t keep his feelings squared away in a single quadrant.

You abruptly stand, pushing back your chair. “I’m not hungry.” You blurt, and practically run back to your respite block. Hopefully Gamzee doesn’t take that as an insult to his cooking, but you had to get out of there. The only thought in mind for you now is having a good cry into your pillow, and tears are already running down your face as you step into the block and shut the door behind you.

You’re already so lucky to have them as you are now, and yet your traitorous feelings seem to want to push it even more.

Your pillow is becoming stained pink with your tears.

The door to your respiteblock creaks open behind you, and your ears perk up slightly as you hear someone make a hesitant step into your room. “Karkat..?”

Fuck. It’s Gamzee.

He sits down on the edge of your bed. “You okay, bro?”

You sniff and hold your pillow tighter, not sure if you should be honest with him.

“Didn’t know my cooking was all that bad.” He says, and you let out a watery laugh.

“It’s not because of that,” You mumble, “It’s something else.”

Gamzee scoots closer to you, putting a hand on your shoulder. “Bro, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I don’t- Not with this. I can’t ruin everything again.”

He gives you a confused look. “What’s up with the thinking that you’re gonna all up and ruin things? Fuck, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You tell me anything, and I’ll still be here for you, aight?”

He’s earnest, looking into your face, and you... you love him. You love him so much you feel like you’ll explode.

This can’t be a secret any longer, you decide. Gamzee’s waiting on you and he promised he wouldn’t hate you, didn’t he? Even if he does, at least he’ll know how you feel. Right? You blurt it out before you can get lost in thought again.

“Gamzee, I love you, I’m pale and red for you, and I’m sorry.”

You dare to crack your eyes open and look at him.

He’s stunned. “I- you- what?”

FUCK.

_You knew this was a bad idea._

“I’m sorry Gamz, I just couldn’t keep it a secret anymore, I’m sorry, I understand if you hate me, I know I’m stupid. I’m so sorry, I should’ve just kept it to myself, I’m an idiot-“

“Shut the fuck up, don’t say that shit about yourself. Why would I ever hate you?” He says, and you freeze at the intense look in his eyes, tears still sliding down your cheeks.

“I- I just thought, since you’ve been acting a little weird for a while, that maybe you didn’t like me anymore and this would be the last straw for you.” You manage to stammer out, shaking.

Gamzee reaches out and strokes your hair back from your face. “Bro, you fuckin saved me. Don’t ever forget all the good shit you’ve done. And besides-“ He pauses. “I’ve been acting weird ‘cause I’m... I’m red for you too. I just thought that if I ignored it, I wouldn’t lose my palebro. Dunno if you noticed, but I kinda need your pale lovin’ too.”

His words send a jolt through you, then relief. “You... feel the same? I’m not the only one trying to hog all the warm quadrants?”

He chuckles. “Nah bro, you ain’t the only one.”

You giggle, relieved and giddy. Gamzee leans in for a moment, then pauses. “What about Dave? You’re all red for him too.”

“Oh-“ You grin, “He actually knew before this. He was pestering me about it at the breakfast table.”

Gamzee laughs, and quickly leans in to brush his lips across yours, pulling back nervously. “Can I-“

“Of course, dumbass,” You laugh, and kiss him. When you pull away, he smiles at you, eyes dancing with happiness.

He’s one of the most beautiful two things in the world, you think.


End file.
